21 September 2006

One Giant Biscotto With Dingleberry Jam, Please


Greg:

I don't know how you got your grubbies on that photo. I've had dozens of lawyers trying to track down that image and suppress it. Now my fascist inclinations are exposed. Damn you, Getty Images!

Apparently Getty can - and will - sell photos of just about anything, up to and including the moment when I brought the populace of Missoula, MT to its collectively quaking knees by threatening it with a mammoth Italian confection. Getty and its minions are everywhere. At least once a week they come by my door trying to peddle another snapshot of Fidel Castro rolling down Broadway in an Escalade loaded to the gunnels with boxes of high-end electronics and cookware from Williams-Sonoma. ("Products which fall from the back of a truck or that can be readily pried from the greedy hands of the capitalist oppressors shall become the rightful property of the people." -Castro.) Or you in your frilly under-drawers, huffing away on that tuba of yours. And I don't care what you say, that underwear doesn't make you a better tuba player.

Speaking of food and Missoula, check this out. At this restaurant in Missoula called The Shack, they have a crouton omelet. No, seriously. Jack cheese, veggies, and garlic croutons. And not small ones. Croutons about the size of Yahtzee dice. And I'm thinkin', who thought this shit up? I mean, c'mon, you gotta be pretty high on weed to think, "croutons - that's what this thing needs!" I should know. When I was in college, I used to spend all night playing the bong and then take a pair of scissors and cut a day-old Totino's party pizza into 5" by 5" squares. Then I'd spark up the toaster and drop it in. Once that popped, I'd put some jam on it and scarf it down. That may sound a little weird, but at the time, it seemed to me that anything that came out of a toaster should have jam on it - like there was some culinary law about that. So I know how these things happen.

But I must say that my hat is off to the members of the Missoula Montana Bong-estra who first cobbled this crouton omelet thing up because it's freakin' delicious. If the good people at The Shack told me they had an omelet that was made with a petrified jelly donut that they carved up with a door plane, I'd eat that too.

All this talk of food has made me hungry. I'm going to sign off now and go eat. I got a jar of homemade dingleberry jam from somewhere in Canada. (Teresa says it's huckleberry but I swear to God the guy said dingleberry.) I think I'm going to start at the east side of the kitchen with that jar of jam and work my way west. I'll let you know tomorrow what goes good with dingleberry jam and what doesn't - although I really doubt there's anything that doesn't.

Cheers,

-Thaddeus

5 comments:

d.nutter said...

5AM? you posted this at 5AM? "honey, what are you doing up?" "i'm just going for my morning blog." what's next, "supper" at 4PM? depends undergarments? a quick game of "who's got cancer?"

(sound of percolating bongwater)

please send jam to my house. and a spoon.

high on the life,
danny "bloodless coup" nutter

The Wife who is Perfect in Everyway said...

I believe the hostess said it was "bumbleberry" jam, but "dingleberry" has a nice ring to it.

Thaddeus Gunn said...

Nutter - I do a man's job. I work the black seam that lies hundreds of miles beneath Seattle's crust. It's a long-ass elevator ride, so I gotta start early.

Beautiful, Perfect Wife - Don't mean "has a nice dingle to it"?

Gregory, yeah that Gregory said...

What is the correct complimentary vintage to dingleberry jam and crouton omelets? A nice Thunderbird, perhaps. No, make it MD 20-20, I insist. Unless, of course, you prefer Annie Green Springs... I love the way the formaldehyde lingers on the palate. Bon appetit.

JWM said...

Comeon everybody, any captions for this photo?
(Thaddeus as Moses when he parted the Red Sea in The 10 Commandments; Charleton Heston and the giant biscotti, courtesy of props and the catering service.)